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Summer/Fall 2008, Volume26, No.2 |
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Welcome to The Wellness Community-West Los Angeles' first-ever eNewsletter! |
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In an effort to save much-needed funds for the programs that TWC-WLA provides free of charge for people with cancer and their families, newsletters will be sent via email to the majority of our mailing list. If you prefer to receive a hard copy, please let us know. Thank you for your support and we wish you a prosperous and healthy 2009! In this newsletter. . . |
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Caring for the Cancer Caregiver at TWC-WLA Going the Distance: A TWC-WLA Family Participant’s Perspective Welcome, New BOD & PAB members Ahmanson and Angell Foundation Grants Numbers Served: January 1, 2008 – July 31, 2008 The Benefits of T’ai Chi at TWC-WLA Letter from TWC-WLA Participant, Janet Halbert Don’t Let TWC-WLA Be the Best Kept Secret: Create a Video Story to Help Others Discover TWC-WLA Upcoming Workshops and Holiday Party |
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TWC-WLA facilitator, Lola Fisher, MFT (center) and Family Group |
Caring for the Cancer Caregiver at TWC-WLA
Caregiving is many different things to many different people. It can take place up close or at a distance or somewhere in-between. For some, what’s needed is a phone call every so often and for others, twenty-four hours, seven days a week doesn’t seem like enough. Caregivers can be family members, friends, partners, co-workers, professionals and volunteers. Over the twenty-six years that The Wellness Community-West Los Angeles has been serving people with cancer and their families, free of charge, the types of people who attend our family groups have broadened as the definition of family has broadened across the United States. What has essentially stayed the same, however, is this: Caregivers support those who need help, and it is difficult to communicate the emotional and physical toll caregiving can exact with those who have not experienced it. |
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That’s where The Wellness Community-West Los Angeles comes in. TWC-WLA’s family groups are for those who are supporting someone with cancer. They are filled with people who understand each other because they are all in similar situations. “Caregivers sometimes walk on eggshells around those they are caring for,” says Michael States, MFT, TWC-WLA Clinical Program Director. “This creates a distance at the exact time that intimacy might be what’s needed. Caregivers will often say, ‘I’m so afraid to say I’m scared!’ They worry that the person with cancer will think that they’ve given up hope.” Cancer is varied in its severity—sometimes it is life-threatening or recurring, sometimes it rears its head once and never again. The emotional aspects of this uncertainty are felt by the caregivers, too, and oftentimes they feel guilty. They think: I’m not the one who’s sick. Why do I feel so rotten?! “Loved ones experience similar feelings of loneliness and being out of control that the person with cancer feels,” says Karen Wurtzel, LCSW, one of TWC-WLA’s family group facilitators. “In family groups, members learn strategies from each other. They learn how to cope and maintain the core relationship with their loved one.” Studies consistently report that caregivers show more signs of frustration, depression and anxiety than their non-caregiving peers. Some of the health problems among caregivers include diminished immune response, increased risk of heart disease, and lower levels of self-care. (caregivers.org) All of this (and more) can considerably lower quality of life, but by expressing worry, fear, frustration, and even optimism with people who understand, those in TWC-WLA’s family groups can find ways to relieve their anxiety and help themselves to stay strong. All of TWC-WLA’s mind/body programs—t’ai chi, yoga, chi gong, strength training, meditation, writing group, relaxation/visualization—are available to caregivers, too. And they’re all free of charge! Time is in short supply for caregivers, but with so many opportunities for support, we hope that those of you struggling to stay balanced will find ways to take advantage of our programs. You are important too. Back to Table of Contents |
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Oslinda and Omega |
Going the Distance: A TWC-WLA Family Participant’s Perspective
Omega DeMello lives in Canada. Her sister, Oslinda, lives in Los Angeles and is a TWC-WLA participant with advanced cancer. Distance can be very frustrating for caregivers, but Omega was fortunate enough to be able to come to Los Angeles for a couple of months to help her sister. The Wellness Community-West Los Angeles recognizes that caregiving comes in all shapes and sizes and allowed Omega to attend one of its family support groups during her time here. Omega also took part in TWC-WLA’s rich mind/body program—t’ai chi, yoga, chi gong, meditation—whatever she felt would help her manage her stress more effectively. As she says, “I did whatever I could to help myself.” |
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Omega also attended a workshop on nutrition and talked one-on-one with a TWC-WLA specially-trained, licensed psychotherapist when she needed extra help. Others in the family have come to TWC-WLA for help. In fact, Omega is one of several sisters who have come from all parts of the world—from India to Germany—to support Oslinda at various times, and TWC-WLA has welcomed each one of them into the community. Omega is currently a teacher of theology, but, in the past, she taught children with special needs. As a teacher, she is used to being in control. At TWC-WLA, she learned coping strategies that allowed her to let go of this necessary part of her professional life. She learned that, “We want to take over their lives to help them (the people with cancer), but I had to let my sister make her own decisions. This allowed me to get on with my own life.” It was a paradoxical lesson: giving up control to get it back. Omega came away from her time at TWC-WLA knowing that she couldn’t control others but she could control herself, her reactions, her stress. She would recommend TWC-WLA to anyone who is dealing with cancer as a caregiver, particularly if they “want to keep their sanity!” Omega found TWC-WLA’s groups helpful because they were filled with others who were in similar situations who became role models that taught her how to cope. She also gained valuable energy from the mind/body program—for example, when things got tough she used the breathing techniques that she learned in meditation. “Caregiving is extremely difficult,” says Omega, “but you take it one day at a time. And when it feels unmanageable, there is always someone at TWC-WLA to help you through it. I could not have gotten by without TWC-WLA’s help!” At press time, Oslinda Mascarenhas died surrounded by family. The Community will miss her. The family welcomes donations to TWC-WLA in Oslinda's memory. Click here to make a donation. |
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Board of Directors |
Board Chair’s Message
After serving as Board Chair for the last two years, it is with a full heart that I announce that my term has come to an end. It has been a pleasure serving TWC-WLA as its Board Chair, and I am pleased with all we have accomplished together as a community. Serving on a Board and acting in a leadership capacity requires many hours of dedication and service, which I have happily devoted to TWC-WLA. I truly believe in its vision to create a community where all those affected by cancer have a renewed sense of hope, control and connectivity with others, as well as a belief that they are capable of navigating their cancer journey. We put our participants first as they give voice to this vision. We empower them to be active in their recovery and life after a cancer diagnosis through innovative psychological, emotional, physical, social, educational and spiritual support practices. We build a sense of community – internally and externally – and we care for these meaningful relationships. We take personal ownership of results, and we do this all free of charge. I leave my post as Board Chair knowing TWC-WLA is a fiscally strong and vital organization that will continue to be an integral part of the cancer community in our region for years to come. I receive as much as I give to TWC-WLA and it has been my pleasure to serve as its Board Chair over the last two years. I look forward to my continued involvement with the organization and its vision in the years to come. Back to Table of Contents
Elisabeth Kennedy-Lesser, Board Chair
Executive Director's Message
My best days are in your hands. I treasure each moment that you share your thoughts and feelings about the community with me. My days are happiest when you call, email or stop by my office to say hello, introduce yourself and chat about all things The Wellness Community-West Los Angeles (TWC-WLA). I love to hear from current participants who speak of the wonderful camaraderie and assistance they receive from the people they meet at TWC-WLA. Others share their success after attending yoga or strength training and talk about their increase in strength and flexibility. Some people push me to think outside of what is currently being done and help me see what is needed. Every time someone takes the time to speak with me, I know that our work has purpose and that our mission is being fulfilled. Donors call and stop by, too. Sometimes they bring gifts that are a source of much needed revenue used to sustain our programs. Other times, they drop in to see the fruits of their generosity and learn about the impact of their donations on the participants we serve. A donor might have an idea for an event or the name of a local philanthropist for us to contact. Each visit brings us one step closer to fulfilling the mission of TWC-WLA and enhances my day. There are also times when I seek you out. Recently, I attended the Quilting Workshop led by Marilyn, one of our participants. There, surrounded by colored fabrics (all cotton – the best to quilt with), humming sewing machines, and rulers and cutting tools (the likes of which I have never seen before) were Marilyn’s protégées – two other participants, Mary and Jennifer. Each of them was blending colors, patterns and love into cozy quilts that will be donated to other members of TWC-WLA. They spoke about their interests, the benefits of attending TWC-WLA programs and their desire to give back to the community. The energy in the room was charged with their individual accomplishments. I left with a small square that I had sewn tucked into my pocket as a memento. These three quilters filled me with joy, optimism and the spirit of community. It was a great day! Come by, talk to me, and be the reason for one of my best days.
Ellen R. Silver, Executive Director Back to Table of Contents |
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Staff Spotlight Nicole Garton, TWC-WLA Development Assistant
The Wellness Community-West Los Angeles is delighted to welcome Nicole Garton to its staff as Development Assistant. Nicole grew up in Los Angeles where she attended Marymount High School. At the University of Notre Dame, she studied History and Art History. But, it was after graduation, while interning at the Santa Monica Museum of Art, when she realized she was drawn to the administrative aspects of nonprofits, specifically fundraising. She enrolled in a fundraising class through UCLA extension and loved it. “I see fundraising as a great way to strengthen an organization’s presence in the community,” she says. “It’s a very dynamic field!” Like most people, Nicole has a cancer connection. Her grandfather died of pancreatic cancer when she was thirteen, and because of this, she feels a strong bond to the mission of TWC-WLA. “I knew that I wanted a job that would mean more than just the bottom line. I wanted to be of service and TWC-WLA has given me that opportunity.” You’ll be seeing Nicole’s name on TWC-WLA’s special event literature and if you stop by the office, you’ll see her doing everything from writing press releases to soliciting local businesses for auction donations to coordinating volunteers to stuffing envelopes. TWC-WLA does not charge for any of its services, and it is crucial that we have people like Nicole, who have a sense of mission, reaching out into the community to spread the fundraising word. If you have any questions about how you can be of help to people with cancer and their families through TWC-WLA’s fundraising efforts, including volunteering at events, give Nicole a call at 310-314-2557 or email her at ngarton@twc-wla.org She will be happy to hear from you! Back to Table of Contents |
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TWC-WLA BOD member, Alyssa Walles winning at Bingo! |
Thank you to everyone who turned out to make Legendary Bingo a great success. Electronic Arts provided a beautiful venue and Michael-David Wines and Young’s Market created a delicious “wine garden.” Special thanks to our committee for all of their hard work and to our sponsors:
Scripps Networks Let’s Celebrate Productions Maguire Properties Dine to Thrive Workplace Resource Herman Miller TWC-WLA’s net for this event was $18,784. If you’re interested in working on this committee for next year, please contact Nicole Garton at 310-314-2557 or ngarton@twc-wla.org Back to Table of Contents |
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Welcome, New BOD & PAB members
Board of Directors Gary Conrad President Howard Building Corporation
Dusty Farber Senior Vice President-Wealth Strategies CBIZ Financial Solutions, Inc.
Sarah M. Lewis Principal Aequitas Wealth Management, LLC
Professional Advisory Board Behrooz Hakimian, M.D. Co-Director, Gamma Knife Center at The Samuel Oschin Comprehensive Cancer Institute
Sara A. Hurvitz, M.D. Assistant Clinical Professor of Medicine Director, Breast Cancer Clinical Trials Program UCLA Division of Hematology/Oncology
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Karen Wurtzel, LCSW, Lynne Silbert, MFT and Michael States, MFT at staff retreat
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Ahmanson and Angell Foundation Grants TWC-WLA received a grant of $41,300 from the Ahmanson Foundation to update its computer system. This much-needed overhaul is now complete and has been invaluable in ensuring that TWC-WLA will be more effective in administering its mission. The Angell Foundation granted TWC-WLA with $39,548 to implement a unique “spirituality” grant for staff. Staffs of nonprofits (and caregivers in general!) can develop “compassion burn-out” and need to step back and take care of themselves so that they can more effectively take care of others. Staff participated in workshops ranging from yoga to a labyrinth walk to exploring issues of teamwork with Dr. Robert Maurer and participating in a workshop entitled, “Active Listening & Compassionate Communication” with Dr. Rose Pinard. By supporting the staff of TWC-WLA, these foundations have supported people with cancer and their families. Staff can now look forward to meeting the tasks of the upcoming year – both technological and of the spirit – with greater energy and efficiency. Back to Table of Contents |
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Numbers Served: January 1, 2008 – July 31, 2008
Offsite Group Visits: 1,145 Educational Workshop Visits: 284 Mind/Body Program Visits: 2,210 Support Group Visits: 2,863 |
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Ellen & Shoshana . . . . . . . then . . . and now!!! Caregiver Tips By Ellen R. Silver
Ellen Silver, TWC-WLA Executive Director, is a nurse practitioner, health care administrator, advocate, and mother to a long-term cancer survivor diagnosed at age 15. This article was first printed by Stand Up to Cancer and can be viewed on its website at www.standup2cancer.org
I became a caregiver when my 15-year-old daughter was diagnosed with cancer in 1999. It’s been nine years and I’m still exhausted! But I learned a lot along the way. No matter what, the relationship between caregiver and person with cancer must remain the same. If you are a parent, continue to parent. If you are a friend, continue to be a friend. If you are a co-worker, continue to work as a team. If you are a spouse, continue your marriage in the same manner. Perhaps the caregiver is taking the prominent role in some decision-making or taking on some additional duties, but the relationship must remain the same in your heart, in your style, in your approach. So the most important tip is—be yourself!
Now some other tips:
Take care of yourself. It is not selfish or thoughtless to engage in your routine activities or the perks of life. What do I mean by this? As I looked at my bald-headed daughter, I found myself thinking that I shouldn’t flaunt my locks in her face. As a result, there was no styling, no coloring, nothing more than tying them back and pretending they weren’t there. I broke the cardinal rule mentioned earlier: I was not being true to who I am or what my daughter knew to be true about my routines. Other ‘must dos’ when being a caregiver include: eat right, exercise regularly, engage in relaxing activities, get your required sleep and pay attention to any physical signs and symptoms of becoming exhausted or sick.
Set boundaries with the person you are caring for. It’s OK to say, “No, I can’t do that for you right now.” Give accurate and realistic timeframes for when you can and can’t do something. You can also disagree with the person who has cancer. Offer your opinion, whether it’s on a cancer-related topic or the issue of the day. Lively debate and discussion reminds us all that we’re alive! It’s OK to get mad at the person you are caring for. Argue, scold, yell the way you always did before the cancer. Parents yell, spouses argue, friends get annoyed. Keep it real.
It’s OK to ask for help. Even caregivers can ask for help! Assign tasks to those who you believe are reliable and will follow through with what needs to get done. Divide and conquer. Divide up chores, errands and other activities.
Prioritize. There are so many things that need to get done, that need to be paid for, that will occupy your time. Prioritize when you will do things. Let go of the unnecessary.
Keep records. Create a system for recording appointments, lab test results, important phone numbers, next steps. Be informed about the health insurance policies of the person you are caring for. Know which ongoing bills (mortgage, utilities, car insurance) need to be paid or what deadlines the person is facing for work or school. As the caregiver, you will more than likely be the historian of the cancer experience. Record all relevant information; keep it updated and secured. Be sure mail is being opened and that the ongoing routines of both of your lives are being maintained from car repairs to rain gutter cleanings—these things need to get done.
Sometimes less is more. Oftentimes what’s needed from the caregiver is just being. Sitting nearby. Quiet support—a card, a foot massage, a cold sponge on the forehead. Nothing huge. Just be there. Just in case. Be there while they’re sleeping. Be outside the door while they’re showering. Stay close.
Ask. What does the person with cancer want today? What is her priority? What does she need to accomplish and get done? Do what she needs, not what you think she needs.
So I end where I began: Remember to take care of yourself. You’re not sick; your life needs to continue and go forward. Do what you need to do for yourself, from socializing with family and friends to attending that out-of-town conference. If you are going to rearrange your life, move back to town, shave your head in camaraderie, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons—the person with cancer wants and needs you to. Nine years later, I can say with confidence that the bond between my daughter and myself grew as a result of her cancer experience. It was time together that I will cherish forever. We laughed, cried and snuggled. We yelled, got angry and discussed everything from her cancer to life around her. I remain to this day the historian of the experience, the record keeper, and the caregiver. This was and will always be the most important challenge of my life, and it was an honor to have given her my best! Back to Table of Contents |
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The Benefits of T’ai Chi at TWC-WLA
What exactly is t’ai chi and what are its benefits? This is a question that those of us who answer the phones at TWC-WLA try our best to answer. Saying that it’s an ancient Chinese martial art can give the impression that it is aggressive or involves a body slam or two. Nothing could be farther from the truth! T’ai chi is slow-moving, gentle, relaxing and meditative. It is also detailed and can appear quite intimidating to those watching: arm movements, hand gestures, posture, the placement of feet—down to the amount of weight placed on each leg—are all important to its execution. But it is really quite simple, and TWC-WLA’s experienced instructor, Marianne Lu, expertly guides participants through the “forms”—small bits of movement that when strung together create a whole, much like a dance routine. These forms have beautiful names, such as “cloud hands”, “needle at the bottom of the ocean”, and “white stork spreads its wings”—names that remind participants of their connection to nature. Recent research suggests that t’ai chi improves sleep quality, increases balance, energy, and feelings of well-being.(mayoclinic.com) Participants at TWC-WLA report a decrease in stress that lasts long after class has ended. Like many forms of meditation, tai chi can help practitioners discover that paying attention and letting go—two seeming opposites—really go hand-in-hand. As Lao Tsu, a Taoist sage from the sixth century BC wrote in the Tao Te Ching, “Yield and overcome; bend and be straight”. This might not be an explanation that those of us working the phones can give to those needing information, but it does give a glimpse into the simple yet profound aspects of this ancient Chinese system. So come experience t’ai chi for yourself. Come join the slow-moving ranks of t’ai chi practitioners at TWC-WLA, and let it work its magic on you! Back to Table of Contents |
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Letter from TWC-WLA Participant, Janet Halbert
Dear TWC-WLA:
Participating in t’ai chi has made a huge difference in my well-being; after the first session I could tell the impact . . . it was better than a good nap or even the best chocolate . . . so restorative and peaceful. I started in February and try to attend every week. When I’m stuck in traffic or waiting for an appointment, I just use my imagination and, in my head, practice the movements I’ve learned. And I look forward to learning more.
Thank you, TWC-WLA, for providing this wonderful program along with the myriad of other free services in support of cancer survivors. Please express my gratitude to all who make it possible and to the wonderful instructors!
Warm regards, Janet Halbert |
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Don’t Let TWC-WLA Be the Best Kept Secret: Create a Video Story to Help Others Discover TWC-WLA
Stories are important. And, if you are a person with cancer or someone who supports a person with cancer, your story has a unique power to help others. Come to TWC-WLA and record a video to share how TWC-WLA helped you cope with your cancer experience. TWC-WLA will upload your video to the internet to spread your knowledge, insight and wisdom. Help connect TWC-WLA to others who need our help. Tell us a story. We’re listening.
Email or call us at 310-314-2555 to set up a time to record your story. Back to Table of Contents |
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Group Inspiration
There are a lot of talented people who come through the doors of TWC-WLA for support, and Alan O’Day is certainly one of them. Alan is a singer/songwriter who has written many songs over the years, including “Undercover Angel” (a Billboard #1 hit for him as an artist) and “Angie Baby” for Helen Reddy. Below are lyrics from a song inspired by his time in a participant group at TWC-WLA. Check out Alan’s website at alanoday.com for more information about his work.
TEACH ME TO LIVE Participant Corner . . . |
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Participant Computer Area TWC-WLA is happy to announce that it has two computers that are available for participants to use for word processing, emailing and internet research. While waiting to attend group or whichever of the many activities TWC-WLA has to offer, feel free to check your email, create a document or gather information for your fight for recovery. Stop by the administrative offices. We’ll get you set up!
If you were unable to attend our recent Caring for Caregivers workshop and would like to receive the free booklet “The Balancing Act: Tips for the Cancer Caregiver”, please call 310-314-2555 to receive a copy. Look for upcoming workshops in our bi-monthly calendar.
Ongoing groups for people supporting people with cancer are called “Family Groups” and meet twice a week on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. Call 310-314-2555 for information.
Upcoming Workshops, Gatherings and Holiday Party Please call 310-314-2555 or check our website for more details
Foods that Feel Good-Demonstration and Tasting with Elisa Hunziker RSVP online or call 310-314-2555 Friday, December 5, 2008, 12:00 – 1:30 p.m.
Game Day! Friday, December 12, 2008, 1:00 - 3:00 p.m.
Pot Luck Holiday Party Friday, December 19, 2008, 6:30 – 9:00 p.m.
Holiday Arts & Crafts for Families with Tabitha Fronk, MA, ATR-BC, CCLS RSVP online or call 310-314-2555 Saturday, December 13, 2008, 11:00 a.m. – 1:00 p.m.
Volunteer Voices Tuesday, January 13, 2009, 6:00 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, February 10, 2009 6:00 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.
Taking Care of Business, Taking Back Control with Joanna Morales, JD Tuesday, January 27, 2009, 7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.
Ask the Nurse: Myths & Realities of Symptom Management, Fatigue, Pain & Depression with Renee Johnson, RN, MFT, Cht Tuesday, February 3, 2009, 7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.
I Can Cope: Nutrition & Cancer with Rachel Beller, MS, RD RSVP to 310-314-2555 Friday, February 13, 2009, 1:00 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.
Look Good, Feel Better RSVP to 310-314-2555 Wednesday, February 18, 2009, 10:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
Setting Sail from Someday Isle© with Miriam Sleven, RN, MS, OCN RSVP to 310-314-2555 Saturday, February 28, 2009, 11:00 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
Survivorship Series: Cancer Transitions-Moving Beyond Treatment Six week series scheduled to begin in February 2009 Call 310-314-2555 for details
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Upcoming Fundraising Events . . . |
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TWC-WLA participant, Aurora (kneeling in red), and her family at the 2007 Big Sur Marathon to raise money for TWC-WLA programs. |
Have Fun. Get Fit. Do Good.
These are just three of the reasons to train with TWC-WLA’s marathon team to walk or run a full or half marathon. Training began September 7, 2008 for the Huntington Beach “Surf City” Marathon on February 1, 2009, but there is still time to join the team. Both experienced and first-time walkers and runners are invited to a training program that includes professional coaching, fitness and nutritional counseling, discounts at local athletic wear stores, training and race day apparel, hotel accommodations, and lots of fun! All you have to do is follow the training schedule and reach your fundraising goal. Call Nicole Garton at 310-314-2557 for information. If you are unable to join us this time, but would like to sponsor a runner, click here to make a donation to help our team members reach their fundraising goals. Help TWC-WLA raise much-needed funds for its free programs for people with cancer and their families. Back to Table of Contents |
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Save the Date
Tribute to the Human Spirit Awards Gala Beverly Hills Hotel Thursday, May 7, 2009 Please join us as we honor Noreen and Woody Fraser, Hella & Chuck Hershson and Nigel Lythgoe. This will be a glamorous and intimate evening with an online and silent auction and boutique. Help TWC-WLA raise much-needed funds for its free programs of cancer support by attending or sponsoring this event.
EIF’s Revlon Run Walk Saturday, May 9, 2009 Join forces with TWCs in the Los Angeles area to create one of the largest teams to raise funds to fight women’s cancers.
For sponsorship and volunteer opportunities regarding both these events, please contact Nicole Garton at 310-314-2557 or ngarton@twc-wla.org . . . and thank you . . . TWC-WLA would like to thank Superfast Copying & Binding Systems for printing is bi-monthly calendar at a discount. Superfast's generosity helps TWC-WLA to continue to provide free services for people with cancer and their families. Visit or call Superfast at 2358 Pico Boulevard, Santa Monica, CA 90405, 310-452-3352. |
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Gary Conrad
Sarah Lewis
Behrooz Hakimian, MD
Sara Hurvitz, MD
TWC-WLA instructor, Marianne Lu demonstrating t'ai chi forms
