25 Stories of Inspiration -- Dolly Groves

“I found the strength to endure from all the stories of courage and dignity told by all the members of my writing group at The Wellness Community – West Los Angeles.” 

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© Bill Aron

Dolly GrovesAround Thanksgiving of 2006, I was diagnosed with tongue cancer.  It was my third cancer since 1998 – first Hodgkins, then breast . . . all primary cancers, all “highly treatable”, the proverbial silver lining, no doubt.  Here I was, outfitted with a grotesque set of eleven tubes sticking out of the underside of my chin through which I was scheduled to get radiation treatments twice a day for six days.  With a weekend after the fifth day, it would be eight days total.

By the fifth day, I was in such pain from this apparatus, I could no longer swallow and had stopped eating.  I could only correspond with my family by text messaging my granddaughter.  And I was drooling.  Where would I find the strength to endure the next three days, I kept asking myself?  Since I couldn’t talk, no one could answer.  Having nothing better to do, I concentrated on TV, which was showing the story of the warrior queen, Boadicea, as the Romans called her; she was fighting this mighty power to avenge the women of her tribe who had been raped by soldiers.  Fierce and unrelenting, she led her army from a primitive chariot.  From her tribe there were screams of “Boudiga! Boudiga!” (her real name).  She eventually was victorious.  Women have been warriors for a long time: the biblical Judith, Joan of Arc, Saint Genevieve, Jeanne Hachette in medieval France.

Then I thought of my mother, trying to lead me to safety by escaping the Germans during World War II.  Being Jewish, our chances were slim.  Where had she found the courage to do what she did?  After crossing into unoccupied France, we were caught and prevented from leaving the town by the Vichy authorities until we had received the necessary papers to continue our journey to join my father.  While there, she met a very old friend of her family, which at that time was still in Poland.  He told her that he had witnessed her elderly mother being shot by the Germans.

She didn’t cry, she didn’t tell me of her sorrow and anguish.  Knowing the truth about the savagery of the Germans, she knew we couldn’t expect any pity if we were caught.  In that moment, she became a warrior queen -- ready for battle -- who would never surrender.

But where did that leave me now, battling another cancer?  I was far from being as strong as she had been.  Afraid, wracked by pain, hungry – where would I find my strength?

It would come from all the stories of courage and dignity told by all the members of my writing group at The Wellness Community – West Los Angeles.   Their encouraging wishes, their “tumor humor” jokes they told while bald, nauseated, recovering from double mastectomies . . . yes, that’s where I would find the strength to endure.