“Cancer creates a ‘new normal’.  Once a loved one has cancer, life is never the same.  It’s not necessarily worse, but it’s never the same.”

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Lola Fisher, center, with TWC-WLA Family Support Group

© Bill Aron

Lola’s husband, Phil, was diagnosed in 1958 with kidney cancer.  He was 27 years old.  After treatment, he remained healthy for twenty years.  In 1979, he was diagnosed with a recurrence that had metastasized to his liver.

Phil’s recurrence was serious; in fact, the doctor informed them that there was nothing more to be done.  Lola and Phil remained optimistic.  Phil felt that he had regained his health once and could do it again.  From that point forward, he did nothing but alternative treatment.  Phil was perhaps more optimistic than Lola.  She privately asked his doctor what his chances were.  She was in grad school and had children – she needed to know.  The doctor told her to continue with school because she would soon be the sole breadwinner.  He gave Phil three to six months.

Phil and Lola had tried other support groups but were disappointed because they were superficial, more like social gatherings.  Lola and Phil wanted a place where they could deal with their emotions and share more deeply.  The Wellness Community turned out to be such a place.  At that time at TWC, loved ones and participants with cancer were in the same group.  This presented some difficulty for Lola.  In Phil’s presence, she chose not to unburden herself with the information the doctor had given her.  It was very difficult for her to keep this information to herself. 

Lola and Phil took advantage of all the resources TWC had to offer.  Lola and her family drew on TWC’s spirit of hope, taking their children to TWC for special events, such as joke fests, sing-alongs, and parties.  Lola felt that it was important for the children to see that life could still be enjoyable.  Like many cancer patients, Phil defied the odds and lived five years rather than three to six months.  Phil died in 1984. 

In 1980, Lola became a licensed psychotherapist and joined the staff of TWC-WLA in 1987.  She has been a facilitator/group leader at TWC for 20 years.  By this time, The Wellness Community had created separate groups for participants and loved ones.  It was recognized that both groups needed to be able to air their emotions or impart information in a safe environment without feeling constricted.  Cancer affects everyone in the family; it can put a strain on finances, create stress because of changing roles, and hamper daily activities.  Lola likes to tell her groups that cancer creates a “new normal”.  Once a loved one has cancer, life is never the same.  It is, however, not necessarily worse, but, it is never the same. 

Lola knows that communication and emotional work can help relieve the stress that comes with a cancer diagnosis.  She has experienced this even when the language is not her own.  At Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital, she facilitates a group with the help of an interpreter for Thai women with cancer.  Lola draws on her past experience to help these women with whom she cannot in the traditional sense communicate to help themselves and each other in community.