Alan
was diagnosed with a malignant melanoma in 2002. He had long been unhappy
with his premature baldness, but, in this instance, it may have saved his life.
Alan noticed a spot on his head but didn't think it was a big deal so he
put off going to his skin doctor. A singer/songwriter who had had much
success in the 1970's through '90's, he was now pushing hard to re-ignite his
career. He saw this spot as an annoyance that he would take care of
quickly and get back to work. But after the doctor visit and biopsy, Alan
was told that he had a Level 4 malignant melanoma and was sent to see an
oncologist. For the next week before his appointment, Alan was under the
mistaken impression that he was probably dying. It was not sufficiently
explained to him that skin cancer is measured on a different scale than other
cancers: Level 4 meant roughly Stage 2; not, as he thought, Stage 4 – the
worst stage. So before he knew about this different scale – the Clark scale – he decided to email some of his friends with the troubling news. He received so much love and compassion that even today when he speaks about it, he gets emotional. The surgeon removed several lymph nodes on each side of his neck and after the tests, told him the good news: The cancer had not affected his lymph system and no chemo or radiation was necessary. After removal of the melanoma, other than an indented "bird bath" scar on the top of his head, and a reminder to be checked periodically, he went on his way relatively unscathed.
But for Alan, things had, in a sense, just begun. The few days of pondering his demise had been spiritually earthshaking. The adrenalin from his heart, pounding in worry, had paradoxically stopped his chronic asthma. Thinking his time was near, he had felt himself let go of resentments and emotional baggage. So Alan joined a cancer support group at The Wellness Community – WLA to try and understand what he had been through. For the first few meetings, he was the person who made light of things – his usual response. Then he went deeper. He realized that his cancer experience was continuing with every doctor's visit and the worry about recurrence. Still he felt like he was "the guy who had cancer lite" and maybe shouldn't be at TWC. But his group members assured him that he deserved to be there. They were each -- no matter what the diagnosis or stage -- trying to figure out their place in the scheme of things. So Alan took advantage of what TWC-WLA had to offer. He forged friendships, and after discovering that several of the members were musicians, began singing and playing with them. Performing at a TWC party they received a standing ovation, but Alan feels it was the camaraderie that was most important.
Over time, Alan watched the beloved friends in his group get better, remain stable, or pass away. He recalls visiting the home of one member who was in hospice care, and sharing some of his original songs with her. Two days later she died. Alan still feels touched and honored that she included him in this part of her life. Alan's cancer experience has been a transformative one. In his song, Teach Me To Live, he writes to others going through the challenge, " . . . there's always a chance that your life could be more than before." For Alan, and many others at TWC, that is exactly what happens.